It’s the end of an era—and the start of a bold, highly questionable new one.
VRSUS.IO, once a semi-reputable home for deep-dive anime reviews, trading card rants, and smartphone takes no one asked for, is officially pivoting into something “more sustainable for the modern attention span.” According to associate editor Mikko, “Articles just don’t cut it anymore. It’s time to ride the algorithm.”
Enter VRTUBES.
Yes, we’re now a VTuber agency. Effective immediately. No more long reads, no more nuanced takes, no more coherent editorial structure. Just PNGs, streams, brand collabs, and the sweet sound of superchats raining from the heavens. We’ve even got lore. Because of course we do.
Meet VRTUBES’ Launch Lineup
What’s a VTuber agency without a few wildly inconsistent character backstories and names that sound like lost K-pop subunits? Let’s meet the first three talents to grace your screens:
JIGGLY
She’s small. She’s angry. She’s been through at least three WAAAGHs in the 40k universe. After an overwhelming number of Orks believed she “had to go,” she got isekai’d into our world and somehow ended up in a VRSUS Discord call. She’s now a full-time streamer with an anger management problem and a chainsword she refuses to put down during collabs. Fans call her “cute,” and she threatens them daily.
MIGOO
Once a popular underground wrestler, fashion mogul, and self-proclaimed “s*x guru” (please stop asking), Migu’s empire came crashing down after a mix of bad investments and too many sponsorships with “aphrodisiac energy drink startups.” Contractually bound to keep things PG-13, she’s still trying (Editor’s Note: … yeah right) to figure out how to tone down the innuendos. Her streams are 80% makeup tutorials, 20% screaming at chat, and 100% pure diva chaos.
G-HYUN
Our third and most mysterious addition: G-Hyun. A blacklisted, washed-up K-pop star who swears he was once S-Class (his words, not ours). The industry refuses to acknowledge his existence, and any past records of his work are considered rare artifacts—only found in deep forums and maybe in one of those sketchy DVD bins. After his ninth controversy, he took a deal to be quietly exiled to the Philippines and scrubbed from public record. He now works at VRSUS as part of his rebrand. He’s a caffeine addict, works 14-hour days by choice, and will not stop talking about second-gen K-pop drama during streams. Or possibly ever.
So What Happens Now?
With the launch of VRTUBES, we’re aiming for the big bucks. We’re talking brand deals, merch collabs, overpriced acrylic stands, and maybe even a mobile rhythm game if the gacha gods allow. The editorial team is being retrained in rigging and TikTok strategy. The writing team has been replaced with chatbots and caffeine.
“We want to build a lovable, chaotic, marketable family of VTubers who will carry us into the influencer age,” says Mikko, while ripping up a style guide and deleting the WordPress backend.
Will it work? Who knows. But if you’ve ever wanted to watch a grimdark war veteran, a chaotic diva, and a ghost of K-pop past bicker in a Valorant lobby, your time has finally come.
Happy April Fools from VRSUS—or should we say, VRTUBES! Thanks for sticking around!
We’ll see you in the algorithm.
Be sure to check our Facebook page for a lot more fun stuff!
